In today’s world, conversations about sexual assault, consent, and the aftermath are more crucial than ever. Jacqueline’s story is one of pain, resilience, and determination to speak out, not only to heal herself but to educate and empower others. This blog captures her journey, the lessons she’s learned, and the perspectives shared during her candid interview.
Jacqueline’s Story
Jacqueline’s story begins like many others—a connection formed through dating apps, casual dates, and the excitement of getting to know someone new. On November 9, 2014, she met Luis after attending the National Women’s Show. They went out for dinner, and Jacqueline thought she was in a safe, consensual environment. However, that evening took a horrifying turn when Luis drugged her, rendering her incapacitated.
She recalls moments of slurred speech and a zombie-like state. Despite visible signs of distress, no one intervened. Jacqueline emphasizes this point: “A simple ‘Are you okay, miss?’ could have saved me.” That night, Luis violated her repeatedly. Her voice, her autonomy, and her ability to consent were stolen.
Despite reporting the assault, Jacqueline faced an exhausting and dismissive legal process, ultimately leaving her feeling abandoned by the system. “If I had to do it all again, I don’t think I would report it. It was embarrassing and emotionally draining, and nothing came of it.”
Her story sheds light on the failures of systems meant to protect survivors and highlights the need for compassion, education, and systemic reform.
Understanding Consent
Consent is a cornerstone of healthy relationships, yet it remains misunderstood by many. Jacqueline’s experience underscores the importance of recognizing that consent cannot exist when someone is intoxicated, incapacitated, or coerced.
In Jacqueline’s case, the drug rendered her unable to say “no,” yet her lack of active resistance didn’t negate her lack of consent. She recalls fragments of clarity during the assault, moments where she begged him to stop. “I’m horrified when I think of what happened that I don’t recall,” she shares.
Alcohol and Consent
Alcohol complicates consent, but it doesn’t absolve responsibility. Jacqueline’s story serves as a reminder that intoxication doesn’t excuse assault—it heightens the need for vigilance and respect.
Dispelling Myths About Rape
Society is rife with myths that perpetuate victim-blaming and misconceptions about sexual assault:
1. “Rape only happens in dark alleys by strangers.”
Jacqueline’s story debunks this myth. Her assailant was someone she trusted, someone who presented himself as “a gentleman.”
2. “She was asking for it.”
No one asks to be assaulted. Jacqueline’s decision to drink wine or trust someone she was dating doesn’t make her responsible for his actions.
3. “Nice girls don’t get raped.”
Assault isn’t about a person’s character; it’s about the perpetrator’s actions.
4. “She wasn’t screaming or fighting back, so it wasn’t rape.”
Many survivors, like Jacqueline, are unable to fight back due to physical incapacitation or fear.
The Media and Reporting Assault
Only 6 out of every 100 rapes are reported in Canada. Jacqueline explains why:
“The process is humiliating. I had to repeat my story to male detectives on camera, relive the trauma, and in the end, nothing happened. There was no arrest, no restraining order. He even reached out to me again.”
The rise of movements like #MeToo has encouraged survivors to come forward, but Jacqueline remains skeptical. “While it’s empowering to see change, there’s still so much victim-blaming. For many of us, the justice system feels like a dead end.”
Healing and Moving Forward
Jacqueline’s journey to healing has been long and challenging. She describes the aftermath of the assault as the hardest part: “The flashbacks, the anger, the fear, and the trust issues—it all took a toll on me. Therapy has helped, but it’s time-consuming and forces me to confront what I want to forget.”
To women struggling with self-blame, Jacqueline offers this advice: “It’s not your fault. You wouldn’t blame yourself for food poisoning, so don’t blame yourself for being assaulted. The blame lies solely with the perpetrator.”
Finding Support
Jacqueline found solace in the Durham Rape Crisis Centre, where she could talk to educated counselors who understood her trauma. She encourages other survivors to seek out similar resources. “I’ve healed and am ready to move forward, to have a healthy relationship with a real man.”
Conclusion
Jacqueline’s story is a powerful reminder of the importance of speaking out, supporting survivors, and educating ourselves about consent. Her courage in sharing her experience is a call to action—for society to dismantle myths, hold perpetrators accountable, and create systems that truly support those who have endured sexual violence.
Let her story inspire us to listen, learn, and advocate for a world where no one’s voice is silenced.